Trust your boyfriend? or girlfriend?

What up readers!!! Hope you are having a fantastic day today.
Today, I am not gonna write about how to make yogurt or anything. :D but I will write about something more important and deep than making yogurt. Today's topic is TRUST in relationships. So, human instinct is to trust people. We tend to believe that people we are interacting are telling the truth and they are being true. It makes you and me to trust others right away based on what they say or promise. But, the reality is that we can hurt ourselves when we trust somebody who is not trustworthy enough if we only trust someone for what they say or promise. My point here today is don't trust someone right away instead let them EARN your trust. I have learned this lesson in a hard way so I don't want anyone make the same mistake. My new friend helped me to realize this. So as he said, LET THEM EARN YOUR TRUST. It is a safer way to protect yourselves from people who like to say stuff and don't mean it.
And you guys are fabulous :) Have a great day

healthy, easy, home made yogurt.

Recently I read yogurt is one of brain friendly foods you can consume to be happy and energetic. :)
I will teach you how make yogurt at home. It is simple as 1 2 3 :)

What you need:
1. A pot that you can boil your milk
2. Milk a half gallon(I use 2%)
3. Plain yogurt from store (make sure it is fresh)
4. A little bit of love :)

Boil your milk and cool it off for 10-15 minutes. Put 2-3 table spoon plain yogurt and stir it. You will feel like you want to put a lot but, do not!!!. less is better here for some reason. Put the lid for the pot and cover it with few layer of cloths and let it stay in a room temperature 5-6 hours. You can put it in the oven to save some time. It is all up to you. And put it in the fridge. Simple huh?

You can always decide how long you want it stay depending on how thick you want.

You can serve your home made milk with honey, granola, real fruits, and whatever.

Enjoy your yogurt

My little brother is my little brother!!!!

Wow!!! Time just flies... I talked to my little brother on the phone and realized how much he is grown up. His voice is manly, his thoughts are organized, his advice is to keep. He asked me how my life was. He wanted to make sure if I was doing good. I felt so great. My brother is two years younger than me. We grew up crying, fighting, playing, sharing our food, protecting each other, laughing, cleaning our place together, cooking whatever we could, singing, dancing, and waiting for our parents to come from work together. I remember him building his own place in the small room in our hallway (small means tiny here. storage room kinda thing) where we put our shoes and other stuff we didn't use. He wouldn't want to come up and even want to eat his food there. And we would find out that all the shoes were polished and shining later. awwwww. I remember my little brother would fight with one of my girlfriend's brother because my friend offended me. There are so many things that he did that heart touching that I could talk about. He was the cutest little boy. He is in super ball shirt in the picture. My purpose of writing this is to just say thanks for being there in ups and downs of life. Now, you are so grown up and still take care of me. I love you my little brother. You are still my little brother so better listen to me!!!! :)

brain does't differentiate reality and imagination

My hearts beats go up like my heart is going to jump off from my chest. My hands get so sweaty. I forget what I wanted and practiced to say and persuade people. I forget to make eye contacts with people I am presenting. It was me a year ago when i had to put presentations to audiences. That time, I just thought I was so born like that like I didn't have great public speaking skills that i could persuade people and have them believe what i wanted to point out. I believed great speakers have been like that and they didn't need to practice.
I was disappointed with myself because what i wanted to do in my life (in long term) was to speak up for people who are not able to raise their voices or who need special help. To become their voices and have them heard. i thought, well, if i can't put undergraduate level presentations, how can I be someone's voice?

And I started my research on what happens in my brain when i start speaking public or why my heart beats get faster than normal and so on. Some of you might know the answer already laughing at me. Yes, it is our brain doesn't differentiate reality and imagination. When we think about tomorrow's presentation or meetings with bosses, job interviews, and so on, we tend to think about possible mistakes and fears that might occur instead of success, confidence, or great delivery of our messages. So our brain takes it as it is reality when you think negative. Therefore, what i learn is that when you have to present and give a speech, practice them but imagine that you are gonna do a great job because your brain will take it as it is reality as well. That is what i learn and it really makes difference. In my leadership class, grades for my presentations were way good. Also, I remember reading this book, it is says always say nice and positive words to yourself. Your brain also will take it in positive ways and help you to have healthy mentality about yourself. So don't forget brain doesn't differentiate reality and your imagination. If you think remarkably great speaker, you are. If you say to yourself, you are successful or going to be, you are or going to be. My philosophy is that nobody on this earth will love you more than you love your self so don't forget to take care of you self and cheer up. Because you are one of a kind. You are who you think you can be.

I am WRONG and you are RIGHT.

In one of my class, there is this middle-aged lady who always talks and shares her opinions. She usually emphasizes and tells the class that she was graduating soon in Psychology major (Personally I love studying behaviours). But, she has one problem with her. When other students bring up their arguments and opinions, she tries so hard that she is right. I always notice her when she is irritated and wants everyone know believe that she is right. My thinking is that she just simply thinks she is always right because she is older than most of the students and behaviour study major. But, she reminds me that all disastrous mistakes come from being too sure you are always right, not listening to others. I was watching Kathryn Schulz's lecture that was on TED, she pointed out some important human misconceptions in communication. She said, "Trusting too much in the feeling of being right in anything could be very dangerous." I believe it is dangerous as well because what if you are really wrong and you don't listen to people who have right logic and perspectives that might help you. She said, there some myths out there that make people too proud to think they are wrong and people think they are always right. I wanna share them.I think they are so true.
There are:
1. The ignorance (We think that others don't know anything about what we are talking about that is why we are always right)

2. They are idiots (we think that others are just dumb and we always better than them)

3. They are evil (we think that people are argueing against us because they know we are right but they just being evil to make us look stupid)

But they are not true. We are not only ones who are claiming education, we can be wrong regardless of our education and degrees. I always think that when someone who thinks he is right, I am wrong even though it is like super common sense, he doesn't listen to me at all, shupts his mind and heart, believing too much he is right. To understand people and ourselves, we should learn how to listen to people around us. Today, I read a very good quote. It says, "Education is the ability to listen to almost everything without losing your temper and self-confident."  What I understand from the quote above is that if you lose your temper, self-control, values, you are not educated enough yet.   In a Chinese saying, it says that we have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less. I believe it will help lots of communication problems in families, friendship, societies, country, and world. Being wrong itself is not wrong by itself, i could be wrong for what I am doing, saying, and thinking. Nevertheless, it costs nothing to think again and make sure what we do make and say does make sense.

If we are becoming less human, we becoming animals

Have you disrespected, abused (mentally and physically), lied, decieved and hurt people you loved? At least, have you seen somebody crying and suffering because of burdens and pains that came from somebody they loved? I am sure that you will say "yes." And remember that you and I can change and become a better human. I am taking women's study class now. I have been reading and learning about relationship between men and women. I didn't know 1 out of 4 women lived under demostic violence where they were battered and abused sexually by their husbands, boyfriends and even strangers. I was waiting for the bus to come in town like 2 days ago and looking at people around me at the bus stations, thinking that out of every 4 women, one has a horrible life. Just thinking about hurt me. Because it often says that men have to be strong, violent, and  tough to be considered real men. When something wrong happens, men have to beat and fight to solve problems. When you make somebody's life horrible, you become less human. I remember my mom says " There is an only difference between a wild animal and human. Human uses its brain and logic, if you don't use it, you are nothing more that a wild animal." And i agree with that. So, every man who is reading my poor reading, please don't think that you have be violent and tough to be real men, you can be emotional, sensetive and loving to be real men. You can cry, talk, and share like women do. Do you know why because you are human as well. You still gonna be men. Better men.
On the other hand, one thoughts just flashed through my mind when I was in my Women's Study class, I saw all these raped, battered, hopeless, valueless women in movies we watched. Heart-breaking, sometimes, my tears just rolled down on my cheecks. They were hard to watch. All students were hating men for what they saw in movies we watched. I did too. Nevertheless, excluding women in Africa, Middle East, and other patriarchal countries, women need to learn how understand men too. Because men struggle so much mentally and don't express them (cuz they don't want people call them emotional or weak which is wrong) they accumulate their anger, hostile, and feelings until the bad day they are going to explode. I am generalizing here, but most women complain about their lives, talk too much, want everything, yell at everyone around which makes men super depressed. Even though women suffer more than men, I believe we can't just blame men for violence that happens to women and men. Women also need to help men to open up their feeling to them and support them. I know from my experience, when you hear your brother or boyfriend finally open up to you and share all the things that added up to their mentality, it hurts you so much to know about their experiences and learn how much pressure they carry with them as well. Let your brother, boyfriend, and husband talk to you and you understand them. Trust them, they need help, they just don't act like they okay and say " I don't wanna talk about it" because they don't wanna be weak. You know what, encourage them to be open to you. And you understand them better. There will be less voilence, less tears, less animals, and more humans.